beaches
when I first laid eyes on her it was in a classroom and it was so long ago and I didn’t know much about anything and she was very beautiful. Next thing I knew she was my world. My best friend, a sister, a protector. I was in love. Like in the most platonic way and it was so fucking great. I would do anything for her. I love her more than my own mom. but sometimes we mess up and lose people. Sometimes we get them back. I’m not sure how this time is going to ultimately end but I want it to be with her
Dear God and Dear beaches,
I re-read your message many times when I first received it. Then I thought about it until I fell asleep; then again when I woke up this morning. I’ve had three friends in this life whom I felt the way that you describe. Leaving home at the age of 14 pushed me to find my chosen family among my peers. While I wouldn’t personally say I love anyone more than my mom, I get it. I have no siblings and I usually live far from any relatives.
At this point in time, two of them have fallen off. With this one that remains, I have that sisterly, protective, and true connection. Just like you said. There is romance to our friendship— but no, we do not kiss. I do love my friend deeply though. I love her so deeply that if we were to ever stop being friends, I would probably grieve as though I had lost a lover. The romance of our friendship exists in our daily lives not just my imaginings of fictional tragedies. It exists when we cook dinner for the other one who may be exhausted from their day. It exists when events in our life match up so precisely that we question being separate people. It existed when she taught me how to rollerskate backward. It will exist when we continue to call and visit each other now that I’ve moved across the country. It exists so much that we recently agreed that if it were ever in danger we would simply fight it out and move forward because we’d rather bruise each other’s skin than our hearts.
beaches, small God, I hope this love that you speak of prevails because it is pure, beautiful, and fucking great. I hope that she loves you back so strongly and with all the certainty you need. I hope you all grow old and become neighbors or collect seashells by the ocean while being a little day drunk. If she truly is the person you and I have made her to be, I pray that you become each other’s rocks, mothers, and little gods.
TAROT CARD: THE LOVERS
I honestly wish I was playing right now but I love this card for you. It must have come out since we both got a little passionate in our writing here, devoting a portion of ourselves to another human. “The lovers” card often represents romantic relationships blah blah yes. But did you know that it also represents the possibility of having met a twin soul? It usually shows up when you encounter someone who you feel you might have known your whole life. The detriment of this card is a warning about the neglect of a relationship that can come when you feel so close and quasi-complete with someone. Just because you are great for each other’s lives doesn’t mean that both parties shouldn’t be putting in some effort to continue thriving.
That’s all for now <3 -Saz